Communicating and setting age appropriate limits and boundaries is important for children, it helps them to make choices, feel empowered and with guidance, helps them to learn to self regulate.
Garry Landreth’s A.C.T limit setting approach is a helpful technique for parents to implement with their children., as it helps children to start to recognise and understand their own feelings, as well increasing their sense of responsibility and to feel empowered.
A- stands for Acknowledge the feeling. example: ‘I can see you’re feeling frustrated/angry. annoyed that its time to stop gaming…’
C- stands for Communicate the limit example ‘ but I am not for yelling at… or ‘now is our agreed time to stop playing
T - stands for Target the Alternative/Choice. example ‘ you can either go outside and kick the soccer ball (relieve frustration) or help me to pack it away’ - offer two choices.
This limit setting approach acknowledges the child’s feelings around a want/need/response, it sets a limit and then offers two alternatives.
This approach can initially feel a little clunky, however with practice and consistency, it can be really useful. It is important however to only ever offer two realistic choices that are achievable for you, as you don't want to inadvertently set yourself up for something that is unattainable.
